Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº6

What does a Formula 1 driver do when the steering wheel comes off? He / she puts it back on!

Wombat Opinion Poll - Sort of On Pole

Salut! Les wombats! Take part in our first ever opinion poll (on the left-hand side of the page) and that's it for this month.

B.H. (Updated)

• Wabba
• Wubba
• Whabba

a Wombato My Libido

Aloha, les wombats! I'd like to explain a few things: first of all, I'm glad this blog happened, it was designed to take a slightly different direction from the previous effort (http://blog.myspace.com/toborre) and deliver something even more surreal and arty. I think we succeeded in doing that. This is not a place that would normally encourage you to comment or start a discussion, every post is just a simple statement, with or without any meaning. Supposedly, we explore Formula 1 theme but first comments (coincidentally, mentioning reproductive fluid of male camels) would suggest that whoever reads this stuff realizes its dubious morality. Let it be, wombat sisters & brothers around the globe, the morality here will get even more dubious in the next few months.

I would also like to thank Robert Sinfield (my spiritual teacher) for firing my creative spark.

http://www.itv-f1.com/Feature.aspx?Type=Gravel_Trap

Buy Yourself Your Very Own Piece of Wombat History

Searching for something old and stinking? Search no more! the Wombat of the B.O.L. goes on sale! Without a shadow of a doubt this new collection of Wombat history will please even the choosiest buyer, just think of what you can get your loved ones for €1000 or £999.99 (taxes & delivery cost included).

How about this stinking pair of socks? One is missing but the one that's left stinks to high heaven!

Or this pair of cheap slippers? One is also missing but on the other hand this featured item is practically falling apart!

But this Bernie Ecclestone statuette dressed as Santa Claus is the real icing on the cake!

And this fantastic torn grunge sweater / jumper? Doesn't it just smell like Wombat spirit?

Or this broken jar? Isn't it ideal for used cond... sorry, balloons?

Enquiries: snemeiss@yahoo.com

the Enlightened Koala Is Back!

Hallo, wombats! Our spy in the paddock (the famous Enlightened Koala) is back with more exclusive material. EK's letter disguised to look like harmless FOB test results was delivered today, after spending several hours deciphering the secret code we learned this: "My people in the paddock are telling me there might be a French GP next year after all, supposedly at Mont Saint Michel, a night race along the narrow streets, just like in Singapore. Pit area will be placed on special floating platforms along the margin of the bay (so that they don't get flooded when the tide comes up), sounds like fun?"

Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº5

Franz Tost calls up Juan Pablo Montoya and says: "Juan! Are you the one?" And Juan pauses for a second and asks: "Wot?"

the Wombat of the B.O.L. Tests for Red Bull

I'd like to thank Red Bull Racing for this fantastic opportunity and organizing a private testing session, I think I did well because I managed to smash the official lap record at Jerez (I did it in 1:11.111), although my buttocks hurt a lot. I'm hoping to be back in action next month as I'll be standing in for the injured Mark Webber. I won't rule out racing for the team in 2009, negotiations are still ongoing to secure a full-time drive, I'm even ready to accept Toro Rosso seat if it allows me to break into Formula 1.

Duchesse Potatoes

Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº4

Brazilian Grand Prix 2008, Saturday afternoon. RTL reporter Kai Ebel comes up to Flavio Briatore and says: "So, Flavio! What can we expect from the race tomorrow?" And Briatore takes a long cold look at Ebel and replies: "You're talking to me? You're talking to me?"

the Wombat of the B.O.L. Remembers: Jerez Winter Test, December 2005

I remember! I remember! The year was 2005, 'twas December, the place was Jerez de la Frontera. It wasn't old, and my skin wasn't cold! Jenson Button's engine blew up! That was so much fun!

Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº3

Barcelona test, November 2008. Jenson Button comes up to Bruno Senna and says: "Listen, man! I'm selling my belly buttons on eBay, wanna buy one?" And Senna responds: "Nicht verstehen!"

The Wombat Hibernates Until Jerez Winter Test

the Wombat of the B.O.L. Reports from Barcelona Winter Testing, Day 3 (Updated)

Aloha! Les wombats! My winter vomiting disease got worse so I spend most of my time in the public toilet here at the circuit, at least I can hear some noise from the cars. More updates in the afternoon.

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Meanwhile you can listen to our 1st Wombatpodcast with Yoko Ono.

http://drop.io/thewombatofthebol/asset/wombatpodcast

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Cool, final times (provided by Renault F1):

1 VET 1:19.295 75

2 BOU 1:19.839 122

3 BUE 1:20.154 115

4 PAF 1:21.140 81

5 BUT 1:21.387 94

6 KLI 1:21.534 88

7 HEI 1:21.592 106

8 SEN 1:21.676 107

9 PIQ 1:22.148 94

10 HUL 1:22.410 52

11 BAD 1:22.866 120

12 FIS 1:23.086 93

13 DEL 1:23.103 88

Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº2

Pat Symonds calls Alonso on the team radio during 2005 Bahrain Grand Prix and says: "Mate! Are you nuts? Slow down for Fisichella's sake!" And Alonso retorts: "I'm not a nutcase! But I lost my nutcracker earlier today!"

Barcelona at Night

I now know what's been causing my explosive diarrhoea: it's called winter vomiting disease. WVD is caused by infection with the small round structured virus (SRSV), also known as the Norwalk-like virus or norovirus. SRSV lives in the gut and is passed from wombat to wombat by poor hygiene after using the bathroom - not washing hands properly after using the toilet and then touching toilet handles, seats, door handles and so on. It can also be spread when someone vomits and small aerosols containing the virus enter the air. Only very small amounts of the virus are needed to cause illness and it's easily spread in closed communities, such as hospitals, schools and cruise ships. The incubation period is usually between 24 and 48 hours. This is followed by severe and sudden projectile vomiting, diarrhoea and fever symptoms, which last about 48 hours. Although the infection's unpleasant, it's rarely dangerous. There's no specific treatment, but rest and drinking plenty of water are recommended.

the Wombat of the B.O.L. Reports from Barcelona Winter Testing, Day 2 (Updated)

Hola, wombats! Hallo, grrls & boys! The Wombat is in Barcelona again today; again, it's pretty cold out here & I've explosive diarrhoea so I'll be spending most of the day on the toilet, all I can say is that somebody was on fire in the pits, oops, gotta go, more updates after midnight. I've been in that cabin all day...

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Final times (provided by Renault F1):

1 VET 1:19.751 70
2 SAT 1:20.017 79
3 BOU 1:20.034 48
4 BUE 1:20.223 99
5 PAF 1:21.340 31
6 KUB 1:21.521 76
7 ROS 1:21.525 113
8 BUT 1:21.770 110
9 PAF 1:21.835 46
10 SUT 1:22.073 58
11 DIG 1:22.283 110
12 PIQ 1:22.348 85
13 BAD 1:22.425 127
14 GEN 1:22.772 31
15 HEI 1:22.945 81
16 VAN 1:23.250 37
17 DEL 1:23.499 86

Wombat Weekly Dumb Joke Nº1

Luca di Montezemolo double comes up to Kimi Räikkönen double at Ferrari's end-of-season World Finals event at Mugello and says: "Dude! We gotta call Luca and Kimi, I wanna go back to being a strip dancer!"

Art? New?